the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
