ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
