weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
