The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
