come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
