There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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