i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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