By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
