i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
