I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
