I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
