I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
