You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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