it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
