Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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