so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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