You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
