Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
