Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize