Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize