"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
