Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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