got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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