Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
