so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
