his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
