idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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