What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
