everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
