It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
