So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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