So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
