I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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