Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Couch. On fire.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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