playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
