first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
