He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
