after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
