you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
