i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
