Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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