Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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