No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
