I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize