Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
