Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
