she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
