its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
