i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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