there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
