yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
