the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she peed on how many people?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
