dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
