No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
