I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
