I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
