the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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