In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
