in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize