Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
