we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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